Two Plus Two: Couples and Their Couple Friendships

Friendships are undeniably important to an individual’s health, longevity and wellbeing, but they can be equally important for the health and happiness of a couple. Just as a friend can provide a mirror to the self, another couple can provide a reflecting team that supports or impedes a relationship’s growth. TwoPlus Two: Couples and Their Couple Friendships offers an important framework for helping couples to have conversations about their friendships with other couples and to enrich their own relationships. When couples agree about how to spend their time alone and with others, they are more likely to have a happy marriage or relationship.

Couple friendships have not been researched previously, despite their numerous benefits. Authors Geoffrey Greif and Kathleen Deal take an in-depth approach to this important topic. Based on interviews with more than 400 people--some of whom were interviewed with their partners, some who were interviewed alone, and some who have divorced--they find that couples fall into three general categories of making couple friendships: Seekers, Keepers, and Nesters. Drs. Greif and Deal discuss the different styles of interaction they’ve observed in couples as well as the findings from their research. Readings from their interviews illustrate what characteristics define Seekers, Keepers, and Nesters. Couples at any stage of their relationship will get a fresh understanding of how to seek, foster and sustain positive, healthy friendships.

Geoffrey L. Greif, DSW, LCSW-C is Professor at the University of Maryland School of Social Work. He is the author of books and articles related to family issues and men’s and women’s relationships. A previous book of his, Buddy System: Understanding Male Friendships, was published in 2009. In 2010 he received the University of Maryland Board of Regents faculty award for teaching.

Kathleen Holtz Deal, PhD, LCSW is Associate Professor at the University of Maryland School of Social Work. She is the author of articles and book chapters related to supervision and professional development. In 2011 she received the award as outstanding teacher at the University of Maryland Baltimore campus.