The Undomestic Goddess

THE UNDOMESTIC GODDESS

Chapter One

Would you consider yourself stressed?
 
No. Im not stressed.
Im . . . busy. Plenty of people are busy. I have a high-powered job, my career is important to me, and I enjoy it.
OK. So sometimes I do feel a bit tense. But Im a lawyer in the City, for Gods sake. What do you expect?
My handwriting is pressing so hard into the page, Ive torn the paper. Dammit. Never mind. Lets move on to the next question.

On average, how many hours do you spend in the office every day?

14
12
8

It depends.

Do you exercise regularly?

I regularly go swimming

I occasionally go swim

I am intending to begin a regular regime of swimming. When I have time. Works been busy lately, its a blip.

Do you drink 8 glasses of water a day?

Yes

Someti

No.

I put down my pen and clear my throat. Across the room, Maya looks up from where shes rearranging all her little pots of wax and nail varnish. Maya is my spa beauty therapist for the day and is in her forties, Id say. Her long dark hair is in a plait with one white streak woven through it, and she has a tiny silver stud in her nose.

＂Everything all right with the questionnaire?＂ she murmurs.

＂I did mention that Im in a bit of a hurry,＂ I say politely. ＂Are all these questions absolutely necessary?＂

＂At the Green Tree Center we like to have as much information as possible to assess your beauty and health needs,＂ she replies in soothing yet implacable tones.

I glance at my watch. Nine forty-five.

I dont have time for this. I really do not have the time. But its my birthday treat and I promised my best friend, Freya.
To be more accurate, its last years birthday treat. Freya gave me the gift voucher for an ＂Ultimate De-stress Experience＂ just over a year ago. Shes my oldest school friend and is always on at me for working too hard. In the card that came with the voucher she wrote Make Some Time For
Yourself, Samantha!!!

Which I did fully intend to do. But we had the Zincon Petrochemical Group restructuring and the Zeus Minerals merger . . . and somehow a year went by without my finding a spare moment. Im a lawyer with Carter Spink. I work in the corporate department on the finance side, and just at the moment, things are pretty hectic with some big deals on. Its a blip. Itll get better. I just have to get through the next couple of weeks.
Anyway, then Freya sent me this years birthday card-and I suddenly realized the voucher was about to expire. So here I am, on my twenty-ninth birthday. Sitting on a couch in a white toweling robe and surreal paper knickers.With a halfday window. Max.

Do you smoke?

No.

Do you drink alcohol?

Yes. The odd glass of wine.

Do you eat regular home-cooked meals?

What does that have to do with anything? What makes ＂home-cooked＂ meals superior?

I eat a nutritious, varied diet, I write at last. Which is absolutely true.

Anyway, everyone knows the Chinese live longer than we do-so what could be more healthy than to eat their food? And pizza is Mediterranean. Its probably more healthy than a home-cooked meal.

Do you feel your life is balanced?

Yes.

N

Yes.

＂Im done,＂ I announce, and hand the pages back to Maya, who starts reading through my answers. Her finger is traveling down the paper at a snails pace. Like weve got all the time in the world.

Which she may well have. But I seriously have to be back in the office by one.

Maya looks up, a thoughtful expression on her face. ＂Youre obviously quite a stressed-out woman.＂

What? Where does she get that from? I specifically put on the form, I am not stressed-out.

＂No, Im not.＂ I hope Mayas taking in my relaxed, see-how-unstressed-I-am smile. She looks unconvinced.

＂Your job is obviously very pressured.＂

＂I thrive under pressure,＂ I explain. Which is true. Ive known that about myself ever since . . .